I wanted to do a "Top 5 Least Gay Moments" but I couldn't even think of four moments of 2012 that weren't completely gay. So three non-gay moments will have to suffice. Here they are:
The year was 2012, and I was introduced to the magic that is The Beatles. I was also introduced to peppermint schnapps by my sister. So my friend and I decided to combine the two and journey to the land of submarines; Pepperland. To get there all you have to do is drink an entire bottle of peppermint schnapps and listen to Beatles music. Sometimes it is harder to get there than others. Like at my Beatles party. I hit my head while in Pepperland and it all went straight to hell. Concussions and Pepperland do not mix. That is what I learned this year. Still, I will never forget the first time I felt Pepperland in my friend's basement. I only saw a glimpse. But it was better than never seeing it at all.
2.) Meeting Zach Galifianakis
I went to see Will Ferrell make an appearance in St. Louis for the second time. I was hoping to get his autograph. I failed, as I do with everything in life, but I did manage to get a signature from Zach Galifianikis. Two opportunities to get Will's autograph and I fucked them both up. But at least Zach was nice enough to sign. Will was too busy with stupid news cameras to stop for me. Fuck the news. I blame them. I could have had both of their autographs. But the news ruins everything. Fuck you, Mandy Murphy.
1.) Paul McCartney On The Run Concert
I never imagined I'd get to see Sir Paul McCartney play live. But somehow it actually happened. I didn't get the best seats. I also didn't get the worst seats. I had to go by myself because my friends suck ass. Nonetheless, how many people get to say they saw Paul McCartney live in concert? Probably not that many around here. So everyone can go fuck themselves. I saw Paul and you didn't. And he's bigger than Jesus.